dark_silicon (dark_silicon) wrote in xiii_and_a_half,
dark_silicon
dark_silicon
xiii_and_a_half

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I HAVE MADE A COMEBACK!

I wrote a drabble...thing...yeah.

:/

SHUT UP I TRIED D': I've been writing in the little ducky notebook that Xintas gave me so I can practice writing shorter stories...I know I still suck, but hey..I TRY GIMME A BREAK. I like this one the most out of like, the nine that I've written...

Title: Cahexia
Rating: PG
Couple: Al x Raz




Pressure.

That was really the only word that Raz could use to describe his everyday feelings. There were all types of pressures bearing down on his shoulders everyday; from the task of trying to to locate Lili to how he was going to say goodbye to Alphonse.

Lili, as important as she was, was less of a pressure than a simple goodbye in the long run. Indeed it was not so simple in retrospect. He and Alphonse had been inseparable up to this point, not to mention that their relationship was beyond simple friendship.

It was beyond puppy love.

It was beyond infatuation.

Having to say goodbye was going to fall into the impossible.

Alphonse hadn't the faintest idea that Raz was planning on leaving. Infact, Raz himself didn't know when or how it was going to happen. He only knew why. Raz wished that it was a more dramatic reason; such as he was too young and exotic for Alphonse, but it wasn't.

It was pressure. Water pressure.

He had known that it was bound to happen...his body finally rejecting himself.

A water phobia.

An allergy.

Why did his parent's name him Razputin? A cruel joke for sure.

Everyday he would feel his stomach being crushed by liquid. His lungs were trapped by water; and at night he would find himself coughing up blood into the palms of his hands: his body trying it's hardest to fight the fear.

Alphonse didn't know.

Raz didn't want to tell him.

He didn't want to be the one to break his heart.

He supposed that Alphonse would be more mortified to find the boy dead in his arms one morning...but it was for the better.Raz didn't want to make Al nervous...it would distract him from trying to find his brother. And that was the last thing Raz wanted to do...especially with his body dying all around him.

Alphonse was going to need Edward after he died.

Razputin wasn't afraid of dying...he was afraid of leaving Alphonse alone. He wouldn't even be able to move without companionship.

Raz just hoped that they would be able to find Lili and Edward before his death. Not because he wanted to say goodbye as much as he probably should...he just didn't want to be the one to leave Alphonse without a friend.

Without a lover.

Without hope.

The pressure was unbearable.
Tags: al, fanfiction, my console, raz
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